Connecting with your spouse

Oct 19, 2016 | Marriage, Relationships, Self Awareness, Uncategorized

6 Great ways that YOU can Connect with your Spouse

In a world of go, go go, and have it your way it is harder than ever to stay connected to those we love and care so much about. If you think I’m wrong just walk into a restaurant and look around. You will see families, couples, friends, and co-workers sitting at tables together sharing a meal while on their phone posting pictures to Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, or in the case of my daughter making Musicly’s. This can be a real problem for our relationships; we’ve lost the ability to connect with others and this is evident in are failing relationships.

I will be the first to admit that I spend way to much time on electronics and my intention in writing this blog is not to shame you into change but to bring awareness on how we can live fully, live wholeheartedly, and live connected with our spouses!


How did we disconnect?

In order for use to understand how to reconnect we first need to be aware of the many things that can contribute to our disconnection. While this is not an exhaustive list I think it is fair to say that these things are true for many of us. I won’t put all the blame on technology or social media but they are definitely a key contender. Work can definitely contribute to feelings of disconnect. As a business owner of my private practice I can attest to this one!

Children let’s not forget those glorious little beings that love to smoosh their way into our beds in the middle of the night, or fling open your bedroom door just as you are about to… oh and we can’t forget how they are conditioned to interrupt every adult conversation we try to have. Other things such as illness, finances, our own self-worth or lack of self-esteem, and this idea that the “grass is greener” over there are participants in this disconnect party as well.

I could go on and on about all the things that contribute to possible disconnect but the reality is that it’s often different for every couple and it’s likely a combination of many factors. The bottom line is that it’s easy to get disconnected from our spouses. We each have so much on our plates, so many things to do and so many places to be.


So now what?

To prevent disconnection from happening, it is important to make your marriage a priority despite all the challenges and stress the days throw at you. By making a conscious effort to stay connected, you are giving your marriage all of the nutrients it needs to be healthy and thrive.


Here are 6 great ways that YOU can connect with your spouse today!

  1. Date your spouse/partner. Flirt and have fun, try bringing them a surprise just to let them know you are thinking of them. My husband and I would go on gym dates and exercise together, it was some of the best times we had being able to encourage each other while being healthy.
  1. Turn off the electronics. Pick a set amount of time each day that you devote to staying off of electronics and use that time to talk with your spouse about their day, just listen with no other agenda. Establish a time each week to spend quality time together – then guard that time with your lives!
  1. Say, thank you. Look for opportunities to say thank you to your spouse. Show appreciation for little things like loading the dishwasher or big things like going to work everyday to so that you can both have a better life. Make sure your spouse knows how much you appreciate them.
  1. Touch each other. I’m not just talking about sex although that is absolutely important and vital to a healthy marriage relationship. Hold hands when you sit on the couch together, rub feet when laying in bed, or slow dance in the kitchen together while cooking dinner. Physical touch is basic need we all have had since birth; find your own creative way to touch. 
  1. Befriend each other. We often forget that being a friend is key in any relationship. People change when they feel liked and accepted as they are. Let your spouse influence you.
  1. Don’t store things up. It’s hard to not be judgmental or angry when your bursting at the seems with recriminations. Waiting to long to bring up an issue can cause you to escalate it in your mind. Show your spouse you understand them.


 If you have additional tips you can share to help others, please “Join the Discussion” by adding your comments below.




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